Too many people around and safety is gone for me
In my mind, crowds have no accountability
They are
Unpredictable
Capable of everything.

No people around and safety is gone for me
Alone
there is
no one to help me
no one to support me
no one to connect with.

With a few people around safety is work
Work I have to do
Work they have to do

Communication
Clear communication
Extreme honesty
Don’t just throw out of your mouth the first thing that comes to your mind
Judgement free
Inclusive
I can be weak and strong when physically, emotionally and mentally appropriate
Boundaries are a celebration
Your no is a gift to me
Hold space
Listen
Listen some more
Please no assumptions
Flexibility, which is the permission to be in and out of the group as required
Still we will get hurt
Still we will get hurt
Still we will get hurt
Still we will get hurt
Still we will get hurt
Still we will get hurt
Still we will get hurt
Still we will get hurt

For this reason it is necessary

First,
to abolish punishment.
And if we were to isolate someone,
because there is no other way of stopping them from hurting us and others,
we must do so in great grief, holding ceremonies of personal and collective grief, for
the tragedy of punishing another human being with disconnection , isolation, or
restriction of their freedom.

Second,
to welcome education about the conscious awareness and respect of
Opposing truths
Parallel realities
Conflicting needs
Incompatible desires
Diverse ways of grieving
Incoherent healing experiences

Third,
to employ strategies of repair
This last one I do not know how to do
I was raised by a tribe that valued revenge
I was raised by a tribe that believed in shouting
I do not know how to do repair
I do not know how to do repair
I do not know how to do repair
I do not know how to do repair
I do not know how to do repair
I do not know how to do repair
I do not know how to do repair
I do not know how to do repair
I do not know how to do repair
I do not know how to do repair

My most promising hope
For feeling safety
For creating safety
Begins with the acknowledgement
That I do not yet know how to repair

And I need to learn.